Parasite Detox Kale Salad with Ranch

Parasite Detox Kale Salad with Ranch

What if I told you you might have small aliens in your body.

Don’t freak out.

Okay. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have started it this way, but how else am I going to get you to pay attention? You have parasites, and you want them out of your body.

Parasites consume a lot of the nutrients in our food, and can cause issues like poor sleep, a loss of hair, skin rashes, and so, so much more.

That’s why I’m on this Parasite Cleanse right now offered by Lets Be Vegan. It’s a strong herbal that eliminates parasites from the body. While on the cleanse, the diet is pretty strict, so it’s been fun finding new ways to eat yummy foods with a limited selection to choose from.

In walks this bomb ass salad.

This salad saves the fucking day. It slays those nasty alien critters, while tasting really f***ing good. It is FILLED filled with ingredients that kill parasites in your body, along with nourishing minerals and vitamins your body needs.

  • Pumpkin Seeds paralyze intestinal parasites
  • Ground Papaya Seeds have an enzyme that can help break down parasites.
  • Red Bell Pepper is rich in vitamin C, which has an anti-parasitic effect.
  • Ginger + Cinnamon supports digestion and can support parasite removal
  • Coconut Oil can help inhibit parasite growth.


  • 1 bunch of kale, washed and cut
  • Handful of cilantro
  • Teaspoon of coconut oil or olive oil
  • 1 Bell pepper
  • Pumpkin seeds
  • Blackberries (optional)
  • Guacamole or avocado (optional)
  • Any other salad


  • 2 tablespoon of tahini
  • 1 whole lemon or two whole limes
  • 1.5 teaspoon of ground papaya seeds
  • 1 to 2 coconut oil (optional)
  • 1 teaspoon of dried dill
  • 1 teaspoon of onion powder
  • 1 teaspoon of garlic powder (optional)
  • .5 teaspoon of oregano (optional)
  • .5 teaspoon of dried mustard (optional)
  • .5 teaspoon cayenne (optional)
  • Salt to taste
  • Water to thin out dressing to your liking

Combine all dressing ingredients either by hand or with a blender. Add water by the tablespoon if you want a thinner dressing. Salt to taste and set aside.

Cut and clean bunch of kale, and massage with oil. Toss in peppers, cilantro, pumpkin seeds, and ranch dressing. Top with remaining toppings of your choice. I chose guacamole and roasted chickpeas, but blackberries would also be delicious on this salad.


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