The month of February, we will focus on defying and redefining love.
In the last post, I asked:
- What does creating a healthy relationship with yourself look like?
- What does obsessing over you look like?
- What does loving yourself look like?
In this post, I want to discuss some self love ideas and rituals you can easily incorporate on a daily basis to fall more and more in love with yourself.
Before starting, I want to say that the best self love ritual you can do it one you create with your intuition. Even the mantras I include should be tweaked so they are specific to you and your needs.
For me, self love includes a lot of dancing (twerking is ancestral, we can discuss this one on one if necessary), singing, massages, sunlight, healthy eating, words of affirmation, among other things. While I will list some general rituals here that will be supportive for you, I recommend connecting with your higher self and creating your own self love rituals you can incorporate regularly.
Getting Started:
What feels like love to you? Recall and remember the things in your life that bring you the joy in life — without any guilt. What tastes, movements, words, smells, touches, activities, people, & sounds feel like love to you. Find where in the body this feel good feeling sits. Note how it feels. Remembering this feeling can be good to recreate on rough or frustrating days.
Write these feel good things down without thinking too hard or self-editing - just write what comes to you. Write as much as you can think of. Now, next to each item you’ve written - write healthy, accessible ways you can experience this on a regular basis. For example, I need a lot of sunlight. Now, ideally, I want my sunshine via sunbathing on South Beach or on the coast of St. Kitts. And while a beach isn’t necessarily actionable for me on a daily basis, getting sunlight on a regular basis is. Even if it is cold, I make it a point to charge up with sunlight on a regular basis. Just because I’m not on the beach, doesn’t mean I can’t indulge in my favorite self love activity.
Check-In Meditation:
You know how good it feels when someone you love randomly checks in with you? Especially at a time you need it most? For me, I feel seen, loved, appreciated, and supported when being checked on by my loved ones. Show yourself some of that spontaneous check-in love every once and a while.
Regularly checking in with yourself is a way to see, love, and appreciate the self as well. Checking in with your star player a few times a day allows you to stay conscious of the self and present. Take 3 minutes throughout the day to turn everything off, sit in silence, and count your breath 10 times. Then take inventory. Scan the body from head to toe, & ask yourself:
Check In Checklist:
- How do I feel emotionally?
- How do I feel physically?
- Am I properly hydrated?
- Am I properly rested?
- Have I been active today?
- What is one thing I can be grateful for in this moment?
- What are some words of affirmation, encouragement, validation, or adoration I need to hear right now?
- What can I give myself to ensure I feel supported, loved, heard?
Conscious Consumption:
Sometimes, while we are idly scrolling Twitter with a random movie or random music playing in the background, we can absorb a lot of unconscious messages that may not support our true happiness. Of course, gossip Instagrams and stalking your exes Twitter are out. Those are obvious wastes of energy. But what about some of the other things we unconsciously consume that may not be as obvious?
Purge. Purge your social media, purge your cabinet, purge your Spotify library, purge your office drawers, and purge your purse. Remove or reduce the consumption of things that don’t support your mental, emotional, and physical health, wellbeing, and happiness. I cannot tell you what that is specifically, so check in with yourself, but be honest. Do not consume things just because everyone else is. Do not consume things just because you’ve always done so. Be conscious and ask if this is truly serving you and helping you live the most fulfilling life you could be living. Visually and sonically are two places we must be very mindful of. Many of us consume alkaline water, but then disturb our peace by rewatching triggering videos on a loop. Be conscious of what you consume.
One of the reasons I started the AFFIRMATIVE playlist series is because I noticed the music I was listening to was not necessarily encouraging me in the way I needed to. I wanted to listen to fire music, but also listen to more songs that allowed me to focus on things other than a sad, obsessive love song, or drugs, or twerking like a stripper/f***ing like a pornstar. I wanted listen to more music that made me fall in love with myself, or feel grateful for my successes in life. When listening to music, just be mindful of what you consume.
I often make myself the subject and the singer of happy love songs. (Yes, I'm a Leo, how did you know?) Every love song I sing out loud is a love song between me and my higher self. Visually, movies and television work overtime in the subconscious. If you watch a lot of television, time how much television you watch over a week’s time. If you watch more than 10 hours of television a week - think about setting a new goal to minimize television (Netflix is included) consumption to 1 hour a day or less. You will notice an immediate difference in how you feel about yourself.
Self Love Anointing Ritual:
Multisensory stimulation supports higher vibrations. It helps you transmute energy, develop spiritual senses, and connect deeper with yourself. If your self care rituals typically only stimulate a single sense, try mixing another sense with it to heighten the vibration even more. For example, mix beautiful tastes with warm touch to ground the body, or join sweet sounds and scents together to excite the body.
One simple multisensory ritual I love doing is reciting mantras while anointing & massaging myself with a scented oil.
My newest anointing oil is called the SELF LOVE GLOW, and it is designed to be a multi sensory experience to invigorate your self love ritual. The combination of the spicy scent of cinnamon, cardamom, and oranges in the anointing oil, with the warm touch of your own hand, while listening to yourself recite sweet nothings in your own ear — that is the ultimate self love ritual for me. I record some mantras on my phone, and play it back while I am massaging myself.
While I have done mantras below, remix each of the mantras so they are specific to you. Ask How, By who, In what way, and other specificity questions to make each of these mantras personal to you.
Self Love Mantras:
- I am that I am - unlimited, growing, conscious.
- I find new ways to love myself daily.
- I allow my highest self to sweep me off of my feet.
- I bow to my greatness. No, I rise to my greatness
- I choose to love - fully and open-heartedly
- I align myself with my highest, most divine good
- choose to heal any blockages I have with love.
- I forgive myself.
- I empower myself with the courage and strength of love.
- I empower myself with self knowledge.
- I find beauty in places of my body, emotions, and mind that I once deemed imperfect.
- Every dip and swell of my being deserves care, tenderness, and appreciation.
- I remember who I am and I own the origin of my divinity.
- I have knowledge of self.
- I stand in my truth.
- I enter my wholeness with an open heart. I find divinity in my wholeness.
- I give myself the sweetness, the affection, and the adoration I crave.
- I give myself the support, upliftment, and the validation I deserve.
- I allow myself to receive love.
- I am love.
- I am.
When anointing the entire body, start with the feet and work your way up. Traditionally, you can also anoint oil on your forehead and or the crown if your head. The great thing about the SELF LOVE GLOW is it can be mixed with any lotion, butter, oil body oil currently in your arsenal to upgrade it to an self love treat for anointing the whole body. SELF LOVE GLOW is powered with herbs, flowers, spices, and oils that are associated with love of self, boosting confidence, and instilling courage. All of the ingredients are inspired by the Orisha goddess, Oshun - the Orisha of self acceptance, sweet fresh, waters, and love. Purchase this spicy, coppery anointing oil today and indulge in Valentine’s Day everyday - not just once a year.
Self Love Letter
Declare your love for yourself on paper with a love letter to yourself. This letter can be like your declaration of love, and an extension of the self love mantras you’ve already created for yourself. Writing a love letter to yourself can be a releasing and uplifting practice that frees you from definitions of love that no longer serve you. A declaration is your clean slate.
If you’re unsure of where to start, I have included a free, hand created LOVE LETTER KIT with each purchase of the SELF LOVE GLOW anointing oil (while supplies last). This kit includes prompts to help guide your writing. You can also freestyle your letter. Whatever you decide, make sure you are open and honest and kind and thoughtful and loving with yourself when writing your love letter.
Place your declaration on your altar, or bathroom mirror, and remind yourself of the vow you’ve made everyday. Record your declaration to your phone and play it every night before you go to bed.
If you do this and you are comfortable with sharing, tag your love letter on Instagram with #selfloveletter and #ritualandvibe. I would love to see this ritual of self appreciation, self adoration, and self validation spread like wildfire because we ALL need more love in our life. We ALL need to be more present for ourselves and in how we live love ourselves.
I believe some of the most magical rituals are ones you can do on a regular basis. I hope this post inspires you to find simple ways to love yourself and self-care this month.
Whew! I know this was a long one. Thank you for sticking around and digesting it all. I have one parting question before you go.
What does loving yourself look like today? What can you do today to show yourself love?
